HOW TO NOT BEAT YOURSELF FOR NOT BEING PERFECT

In your head, you make that perfect picture; a beautiful body, the perfect house with a car, more than enough money, the perfect job, husband or wife, two children and preferably a house on the bahama’s if the odds are you in your favor. You keep that picture constantly, burning on your retina and tell yourself that you first have to become this or that… in order to allow yourself to be happy.

You blame yourself when you close the day without popping off your entire to do list. You punish yourself if you grab a bowl of crisps as a snack in the late evening, if you have not started exercising, if you have put yourself lazy on the couch in order to watch netflix series instead of doing what you had planned to do for yourself. But when is it good enough? When can you say to yourself: ‘Yes. Today I did what I could and that is enough’.

Sounds this like you? Well, then I want to ask you a question. What can you do today to be more fortunate in your daily life, to achieve a state where you feel fulfilled? What does it take and how do you do that?

What I have noticed is that in recent years I overestimate myself with the things I wanted to achieve. Where I made action plans and to do lists, worked hard for the things I want but didn’t get the feeling out of it that I expected it would give. I wasn’t loving what and how I was doing what I was doing. I was fighting like crazy and gave a maximum bet on sports, food and investing in myself.

I asked to much of myself and could not meet my own expectations every day. As a result, I was lying in my bed with a disappointed feeling and repeated it the next day. What I noticed is that I was so focused on everything and achieving something that I forget to love all that was needed to get there. What I realized is that it is the process that counts. It is the process that makes this life fun.

When you think about it: Is it not true that when you have a goal for yourself and want to achieve that goal, that you think about how you are getting there? And if you think about the way to get there, is it not true that you have to think about all the mini steps that you have to take and prepare to eventually reach that result? Sure! But if you continuously focus on that big goal, on the top of the mountain, the end result, on everything you have not yet achieved (killerbody, skills, perfect career, big house, enough money) it’s a big step to start. You will become overwhelmed and begin to see the ‘big’ task as something you will never achieve. Your self-confidence drops three floors and the result is: you do not even start. You do not start anymore. You hate the process, because it is too much. You do not start with the first step and you’re not enjoying the journey anymore.

If you want to enjoy your journey and get the most out of yourself, it is important to focus on one step forward and invest yourself 110% in it; in that next step that brings you a bit closer to the final result, no matter how big it feels like in the beginning. Everything is achievable when cut down into pieces.

By focusing on the process and taking all those little steps, you can be sure that that end result, which once seemed so far away, comes closer. All small steps eventually come together and form the one big step that brings you together with your final goal.

So the point I want to make is: while you do this, do not forget to enjoy. Do not forget that this life is not just about achieving a diploma, a certificate, a training, only hard work and that fun or relax at times is a sin. Balance it. Therefore, do not blame yourself if you make a moment a choice that is not in line with the end result in your head; a netflix marathon, a bag of chips OR WHATEVER. Do not bark yourself, do not just throw the towel in the ring, work hard, reward and enjoy. Make the process something that keeps you excited.

Nobody is perfect, neither does I, nor do you. It is about finding the right balance between enjoying and working hard in a way that suits YOU. You just need days and moments to refuel, to do nothing at all, without distractions, know that and also allow yourself to refuel. Personally, I still work there every day to give more to myself and even though I find that sometimes difficult, I notice on the days that I do, I can do it again to the maximum. Even harder than before, purely because I calm myself and refuel myself.

The way to your goal, that is what matters. If we do not enjoy it, what do we enjoy? If that is not what we get energy from, what do we get it from? The fact that instagram people are busy with creating fitbody’s and sharing pictures of it does not mean that this is also the way of living for you and that you have to force yourself to go the gym. Those are their results, but maybe not yours. Choose your own goals, feel your own passions, what are they? Find that and go chase them.

So make sure that this process is something that you enjoy, activities that make you feel energetic, where your passion lies, where you get energy from and where you come out of bed every day. BUT .. DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP IF YOU ARE NOT PERFECT FOR A MOMENT OR A DAY. IT IS ALL ABOUT BALANCE.

So try to strive a little bit less every day to achieve perfection and become a little bit more of yourself. To copy a little less of what the rest of the world already does and likes and become more interested in what moves you, what motivates you. What is your passion? Where do you get out of bed for in the morning? To put your whole heart in it? To work your ass off because you like it and show the world what you have in you? What is that goal? What do you want to achieve in this life?

When you are going to love the process, the things that you do every day, because YOU want to do them and not because they are imposed on you by your boss, by your environment, by your friend, relationships, family and investing enough time and hard work in it, you will be on the right path to achieving happiness.

Choose the things that give you energy, find a way to spend time on that daily and see your life change. When you find that drive, the motivation for which you want to get out of bed in the morning, you will start to feel magic in your life.. That is the beginning of everything!!!! 💪🏻🔥

Love,

Pleun

Quote Eric Thomson

 

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