I have thought all my life that love was finding a partner that made me complete, that made me whole. I saw love as finding ‘the perfect fit’, that special person that makes you feel powerful and energetic. A feeling that I could never achieve without love and what I was looking for continuously in the outside world, in someone else to be responsible for that feeling. But what if I tell you that love has a very different meaning than you might think? I want to share an idea with you.
What if love is about first loving yourself so intensely, to create so much energy and passion in your own life and to experience that the other person will only be an addition to everything WHAT YOU ALREADY HAVE? That the person becomes a plus instead of a padding, someone who supports you instead of just holding you up. Someone who is there because it is more fun together than just having someone alongside you because you can not tolerate life at all on your own. Perhaps because you think that if you are alone you can not create these powerful feelings of self-confidence and happiness within yourself.
What if love as you previously knew and saw in films like finding ‘the one and only’ so that all feelings of dissatisfaction are solved and fall into place, is not love as real love should be? What if our generation do not know how love works and you just struggle around, hoping that you accidentally bump into that person who belongs to you. Have you ever thought about that? The moment I started to realize the meaning behind real love this has really been a turning point in my life.
At this time, we humans are so focused on finding love just to not only have to sleep, not having to feel alone, having support when life becomes too heavy for us alone or for once having sex, that we lose sight of the true meaning of love. You are looking for someone who wants to be with you, wants to have a fulltime meal, sleep, cuddle, netflix marathons and you want to hold on. Someone who sees you and gives you the confirmation that you are good enough but as soon as your inner world is put to the test by love, as soon as you have to set yourself up vulnerable and threaten to show yourself open and exposed, you prefer to run away and that often does.
You want to love, but not the storms that come to look at love. You want to love, but not the fights and emotions that you feel when the love between you and the other is put to the test. You want someone you see standing but you do not want to be bound at the same time. Your snapchat is up to date, you go for most likes on instagram, you make your profiles on social media up to date, everything to avoid a real serious date. Everything so you do not have to put your real personality on the table, because imagine that someone would see how beautiful and pure you really are inside, instead of just the beautiful picture on the outside. And that those tough looks or the mask with make up, no longer offers a way out and your protection is lost. And it is seen that you go much deeper and are much more than just your appearance. You are much more than that, much more beautiful than just that.
You might therefore be looking on dating apps, as if love is for sale like candy in the store. During your going outs on saturday you hope to encounter the ‘true and lasting love’ if you do not look more clearly from your eyes to see love at all. To then go home disappointed if you have not managed to get someone and you feel that you have not succeeded when you leave the pub.
You endlessly seek love everywhere and always. You think that everything is solved as soon as you are with someone but what if I say that I have discovered for myself after many setbacks in relationships, that the secret of finding true love is to look inside. Exactly, inside yourself. In myself? Yes in yourself. To see, really to start learning to see who you really are and so in this way through time all masks and roles to drop you away from who you are not, ultimately your authentic, unique you to the to radiate out of the world. Without all the masks and bullshit that you have built up over the years and are just who you have always been inside. Who is that person you have been with all your life, where you have these inside jokes with, where you live with, that person you wake up with and go to bed with every single day? Do you know that person? What is that person looking for? What are his or her dreams? What makes that person really happy? Have you ever thought about that?
Why do not you take this moment now to let these questions settle down and think about how you can make sure that you become something more every day of the person you have always been deep inside? That person when you were younger and before the world had any influence on you? If nobody would count his opinion, who is that person under all those labels and b*llshit? Under all that nonsense?
What step can you take today to come closer to that person you have always been and a step further away from the person who others expect you to be? Write it down..
What if you give this person, the real you, so much love (with all your flaws included) that no one around you can have any influence on your self-confidence or the chance to hit your self-worth because you KNOW that you are good enough as you are. So you do not need anyone else to confirm that.
What if the love in yourself rises to such heights and you flourish so much that you can not do anything else than to walk through life with a smile and full of energy? Without having someone at the moment and not looking for someone at the same time, but just happy and grateful with everything you already have at that moment. Not asking for more, something extra or someone to foster self-confidence in you, but just good enough, you in your purest form, just like you are and happy with everything you have at that moment. What would happen if the person you have been looking for all your life comes to the corner, tell me, would this true love really see you now?