For human beings who are exposed to traumatic events and experience struggles in daily life, maybe not completely realizing the impact it can have, I want to say something.
Almost everybody worldwide deal with a traumatic event, worse or less, at some point in their lives. While reactions to trauma can vary widely, more often we don’t know that trauma can change the brain that everyone should be aware of.
I want to bring up this subject because lots of people are not reaching their full potential, their full being of feeling and enjoying life, myself included, because of the effects that these traumas can bring. Without sometimes realizing this when you think it doesn’t ‘effect’ you anymore.
We either grow up in an abusive environment, violence, loved ones that are agressive or addictive, sexual abuse, rape, bullying, neglection, accidents.. name it.
When the traumatic events occur, the emotions overwhelm us in the heat of the moment. We carry them in our body while going through life, not knowing they still have an effect on us.
If I look at my own experiences, i’ve been growing up in violence and not always stabile environment when I was very young. Very often I didn’t feel safe. My body was on alert mode for a long period of years while I was being around a certain energy. By being exposed to violence at a very young age my body held on to a lot of tension.
My body was most of the times in stress and tension because of a lot of “fight or flight” responses on the traumatic events. What means a physiological reaction that occurs in response to a perceived harmful event, attack or threat to survival. It got me in protection mode when I felt the lightest threats.
EFFECTS OF TRAUMA
While I was thinking everything would be ok there where a lot of effects. I experienced concentration problems, anger, a feeling of no control in emotions, exploding out of nowhere, no empathy, lack of self-worth, anxiety, excessive thinking, light sleep, waking up because of the slightest sounds, getting irritated by the lightest noise, not in touch with my feelings and last but not least graspable for addiction.
This way of misusing alcohol or drugs as much as I could was for me a way to escape and at the same time get in touch with the shitload of emotions that was inside of me, didn’t know how to release them.
While I was thinking the traumatic experiences I had was doing me no harm and I was ‘over’ it, grown out of it, because I didnt want to give in, admit and show vulnerability or weakness, my whole life was influenced by it.
The emotions remained stuck inside of me for a long period of years.The relationships I encountered showed me the truth of what was really going on inside of me. The emotions that I didn’t want to feel come up when I got really close with certain loved ones in my life. It scared the hell out of me that someone could come that close again so I shut off out of protection. Not knowing that shutting of from being vulnerable, meant shutting off from love. It was the only doorway to a loving relationship.
If you never have been taught to express your emotions because of society’s conditions or maybe because of the homes we grow up in, please realize how important it is to face these stuck emotions if you want to live a life true to yourself, free from for example hate, anger, sadness, selfdoubt or stress.
I just want you to make aware of what it can do with your body and brain if you don’t find a way to express those emotions. It’s not weak to ask for help, cry with a friend and say whats really going on.
What worked for me is to dive in deeper into emotional intelligence and be aware of everything that is happening inside of you and in your relationships.
To learn more about how to express emotions and practice to not walk away when I feel them but face them and go straight through the feeling, how scary that might be.
Besides that what is maybe the most important for me, is to be with someone who is that aware that he or she help you to fully embrace that inner-child with stuck emotions inside of you to help you set free from everything that is holding you back. This can be a mom, dad, best friend, a loved one or if it feels right: a therapist.
Someone who feels so safe to express your stuck emotions and in that way help you set free from all the emotions that you denied or put away so that you can feel who you are again, safe to express everything that is inside of you for a healthy and happy life.
Please don’t blame yourself if you’re not able to do it right away. For me it’s also still a process every day, but the most important thing is to just start with diving deep in yourself. Find ways to express and release these feelings and keep pushing through it.♥
I want you to be happy. I want you to make this life worthwhile, with love, with care for yourself and your emotions. You can be whatever you want if you fully embrace everything that is going on in you. Never deny yourself and what you feel.
In the core of your heart you are love. You’re not your thoughts, emotions or what ever your mind tries to tell you. You are you. And after you release all those sh*t load of unreleased feelings, you can let your true colors shine through.
I believe in you. Get rid of that past trauma, slowly but surely and don’t let this past experience influence your now and your future.♥